Blessings

     I scattered wildflower seeds behind my house and was surprised when a wildflower prairie did not zoom up out of the ground like the picture on the seed package. “Nonsense,” my mother had said, “you need to put in some plants.”

    And so that spring on her birthday, i stopped at the nursery after dropping my daughter off at school. i stood in the chilly morning air, filling a tray with both well thought out and spontaneous purchases. After warming up in the house with a second cup of coffee, i trundled back out into the cloudy day to plant.

    My neighbor, Neyah, walked by just then, and said, “With weather like this it is a good time to plant, and they will do well.” I appreciated his blessing.

    To bless is to wish well. We all have the power to bless. Blessing transcends religion and spirituality. We all may enjoy giving and receiving well wishes.

   A blessing, as a noun, is something which we are grateful for in our lives. When we begin to count our blessings, we find we have much to be thankful for. Counting our blessings is an exercise in gratitude, and gratitude promotes happiness.

    Counting my blessings is a part of my personal practice. There have been times when I do this before falling asleep at night, or as currently, during my morning meditation. My daughter, my son, my husband, my clients, this roof over our heads.... and over time, curious and often overlooked or taken for granted things; my legs, my hands, the functioning of my body, the sweet smell of rain through an open window, the time and freedom to write..... flush toilets... toilet paper even.

    We pause for blessing at our dinner table.  A simple and often times silent, “thank you to this fish, these beans and rice and tomatoes and avocado and lettuce and olives. Thank you for this water, and beer. Thank you to the fishermen and farmers, truck drivers and grocery clerks, and the hands that worked to buy this food and cook this food. And the hands which will eat this food. May it nourish us well.”

     At times, our minds may see a situation as a curse rather than a blessing. This point of reference usually makes us feel miserable. It is always possible to take a different point of view, turning things upside down or inside out, facing them in the opposite direction or from an eagle eye perspective. Flip it on it’s head, and spin it around.

    I remember a time that I was at a party. A mom cried to me that her daughter was still living with her. She was in college and living at home. At that same party, another mom rejoiced to me that her daughter was still living with her. She was in college and living at home. 

   My neighbor, Cynthia, walked by and saw our new Prius parked behind our house. She marveled and instantly placed her two hands on the roof. “May all have safe and happy travels here.”

    I am humbled by the vastness of all I have to be thankful for. I feel such an overwhelming sense of gratitude. We are all so blessed. 

    May your days and nights be filled with a 1000 blessings.

Lovingkindness Meditation

    Peace on Earth begins with peace in the self. So, how do we accomplish this? After all, we are emotional beings- we may feel peaceful at times- but angry, sad, upset,  or hopeless at others. Meditation (mental training) is a tool which may help us to return to peacefulness. Lovingkindness meditation comes from the Buddhist tradition, but can be used by us as a non-denominational mind-body therapeutic intervention.

   Lovingkindness refers to unconditional positive regard and nonexclusive love for all beings. Lovingkindness meditation emphasizes well-being for self and others, and is evidenced to reduce stress and pain in relationships, promote happiness, and increase social connectedness. Brain imaging studies find lovingkindness meditation activates circuitries linked to emotional processing and empathy.         

   Lovingkindness Meditation may be useful to many populations: from children in elementary schools to teens, parents, neighbors, patients, physicians, and diplomats in the United Nations. Lovingkindness meditation grows emotional intelligence and is likely to decrease the incidence of bullying in schools and foster cooperation between negotiating parties. 

    Lovingkindness Meditation is a technique which helps us to grow in consciousness of and connection to the values of kindness, empathy, and compassion, including self-compassion. Lovingkindness meditation can transform how we consider ourselves and treat others. The development of kind and compassionate thought may lead to greater humane action and global empathic consciousness. Ultimately, I believe lovingkindness meditation is helpful to bringing peace on earth. Compassion may be the technology which advances human civilization. 

Spirituality in Healing

    I walked in the sun and the rain. The sun shone and the rain fell simultaneously. I was thankful for my waterproof jacket. Having the right gear when you’re outdoors can make all the difference in the world. 

    This led me to think about how having the right gear in your indoor world can make all the difference too. The indoor world where your mind lives. What gear do you have to cope with adversity, setbacks, failures, even? What gear do you have to handle your own thoughts and feelings? 

    My husband asked me to blog on spirituality in healing. I published a paper which explored this topic (Williams-Orlando C. Spirituality in Integrative Medicine. Integrative Medicine: A Clinician’s Journal 2012;11(4):34-40.) When I think of the gear which may help us traverse our inner landscape, I think of qualities like love, kindness, forgiveness, trust, hope, faith, truth, gratitude, courage and joy. 

    These qualities may be considered as spiritual values. Independent and transcendent of any particular religion or belief system, these intangible and invisible qualities can help us at times, like a coat on a rainy day. Spiritual values may be useful gear for us in healing. 

    I like the way Caroline Myss defines spirit: “Your spirit is the part of you that seeks meaning and purpose. It’s the part drawn to hope, that will not give in to despair.” I like this definition because it speaks to our universal humanity, whether or not we believe in God(s), Goddess(s), Great Spirit or higher power of any sort. 

    Today I counseled a teenager who had “losing faith” written in blue ink across her fingers. I asked her about it, and I asked her how she would find faith again. Here the discussion turns to what rejuvenates, refreshes, and recharges us, what feeds our spirit, and our happiness. What makes us feel strong and what makes us feel weak? What uplifts our spirit and what drains it? 

    I remember a time I was counseling a woman who was suffering from depression. A part of what I prescribed to her was to increase pleasurable activities. For her, this was playing the piano. Making it a priority to do something pleasurable each day feeds our will to live. 

    I often make use of lovingkindness meditation for people who are self-critical and “beat themselves up.” Lovingkindness meditation is the antidote to this poison. Lovingkindness meditation builds self-compassion and grows empathy.

    My son taught me years ago that what teens often need from their parents is trust. It is a practice for parents. But it often helps you and your relationship to trust in your teen and trust in life itself. 

    In psychology, we look for gear which enhances emotional well-being, builds positive coping skills, reduces stress, and encourages self-care. Perhaps the greater the turmoil, the more sophisticated our gear needs to be. If you are climbing mountains rather than taking a stroll in the park, you really need good shoes on. You need a good tread. 

    Spiritual values are gear which may suit us up to be healthy and happy, peaceful and well, in our innermost tinkering. We may lean on spiritual values in healing. As my doctoral chair and celebrated pioneer in integrative medicine, Dr. Jeannie Achterberg, defined “Healing is making the heart comfortable.” 

Holistic Solutions for ADHD

   I first began doing research on ADHD in 1997. Following an imagery workshop and over a margarita, my friend, Dr. Annabelle Nelson, and I decided to write a grant together for NCCAM funding. This led me to pursue a PhD in psychology. 

    I continued with ADHD research, leading to a doctorate on ADHD, examining everything from biochemistry to patient beliefs. When I turned in a paper to Dr. Stanley Krippner on the Neurophysiology of ADHD, he had only one question for me, “do you believe in the diagnosis?” It is a good question.

    What I discovered is that some like the diagnosis for reasons such as insurance coverage or additional care in school, or simply because it helps to have a name for something and the feeling that you can now do something about it. Others do not like it. They do not want their child to be labeled, marginalized, or discriminated against. 

    Out of concern for children’s growing sense of self and self-esteem, I explain the condition in terms of brain diversity rather than calling it a disorder. I do not see any helpfulness or healing value in telling a child that they are disordered. Possibly the DSM will in time drop the last D for this reason, as the military did for PTS (formerly PTSD). 

    One of the discoveries of my doctorate research was the emergence of a new cultural construct of ADHD children as the rhythm keepers of society. Children diagnosed with ADHD are naturally drawn to rhythm, and rhythm naturally heals by limbic arousal and dopamine release along the pleasure pathway in the brain. We have a need for rhythm keepers in society, think of musicians, dancers, poets, painters, potters, athletes, astronauts, monks, and shamans. As the biomedical explanatory model of ADHD shows dopamine inhibition, dopamine release by rhythmical activity may be an important part of the solution.

    What I know for sure is that it helps to address ADHD individually and holistically. Yes, ADHD is an umbrella diagnosis. Trauma can cause symptoms that look like ADHD. In 83% of cases in my doctorate research, a stressor (e.g. divorce, move, changing schools) preceded the diagnosis. 

    Pharmaceutical therapy works for some, but others do not like it. Children often tell me that they stop taking their medications because they don’t like the way it makes them feel. At least 60% of the time, children create their own pharmaceutical regime. Parents are usually (73%) aware of the adverse effects of pharmaceuticals. In my opinion, due to the potential harm that drugs could have on the developing brain and our lack of research on long-term effects, pharmaceutical therapy should be a last resort, rather than a first line treatment approach in children. 

    Biochemical support from diet, nutrition and natural supplements makes a lot of sense. When it comes to supporting the ADHD brain biochemically, omega-3 fatty acids, magnesium, iron, zinc, and B-complex vitamins are a no brainer. There is ample evidence that these nutrients can be deficient in this condition and that supplementation can be beneficial for this condition. 

    Can children also learn skills to better manage their condition? Absolutely. I began doing therapy with children diagnosed with ADHD in 2003. What we found were improvements in parent, child, and teacher ratings on the Conners Rating Scale for ADHD using mind-body therapy. This mind-body therapy was comprised of expressive art, meditation, education, and imagery. It results in the building of emotional intelligence and self-esteem, and the training of attentional and relaxation skills. Children gain positive coping and resilience. 

    ADHD is a multi-faceted condition which may need a multi-faceted treatment approach. A holistic solution for ADHD embodies assistance from food, supplements, and exercise, emotional support from counseling/therapy, and your personal spiritual practices. The holistic solution for children diagnosed with ADHD includes the parents-helping parents to manage stress, cope with feelings (50% of moms feel guilty) and answering parenting questions. In addition, holistic solutions for ADHD involves lifestyle choices: make use of what betters the condition (e.g. routine, stability, exercise), allow your child to pursue their interests, play to your child's strengths and unique gifts and talents, and address learning style and optimal learning environment. In grounded theory analysis, we found that children diagnosed with ADHD are talented and gifted children (93%).

Essential Fatty Acids and the Brain

    I am different from most psychologists in having a biochemistry background. With this, I have worked professionally in natural supplement research and education since 1997. One of the most well researched and widely accepted natural supplements for mental health are the omega-3 essential fatty acids.

     Essential fatty acids are fats that our cells need for proper functioning and fats that we need to get through the diet (or supplements). Our brain cells in particular need lots of fat. Brain cell membranes have the highest percentage of fatty acids of any cells in the body. The human brain is 60% fat.

    An omega-3 essential fatty acid which our brains need for optimal functioning is DHA. The primary producers of DHA in our world are the algae. Fish eat algae and for this reason become rich in DHA. DHA is also found in grass, and wild or grass-fed meats. Infants receive DHA in their mother’s breast milk (levels dependent on dietary intake by mom).

    Listed below are specific dietary sources and the vitamin and mineral cofactors needed for enzymatic conversions in the body. Preformed DHA is an important consideration as there may be limits in EFA metabolism, and the extent of conversion of ALA and EPA to DHA may be small.

    It is generally recommended to eat 2-3 servings of fatty fish per week (or 1-2 grams/day of fish oil supplement) for basic wellness. DHA is important biochemical support for both mood and cognition. DHA supplementation has proven to be a safe and effective part of treatment plan for many mental health conditions, including ADHD, depression, and schizophrenia.

omega-3 fatty acids                        

ALA (alpha-linolenic acid) FLAXSEEDS, WALNUTS, HEMP OIL            

    ==>    (vitamin B6, Mg, Zn, vit. C, niacin)        

EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid) ALGAE, FISH            

   ==>

DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) WILD HERRING, SARDINES, MACKEREL, ANCHOVIES, SALMON, HALIBUT, FISH OIL SUPPLEMENTS, ALGAE SUPPLEMENTS, GRASS-FED MEATS, EGGS FROM GRASS-EATING CHICKENS

Vegetarianism

    I became a vegetarian when I was 13 years old. My friend, Roberta, told me about factory farming and the cruel conditions in which animals were being raised and slaughtered. I knew instantly that she was telling the truth and stopped eating meat that very day.

    My parents were mostly o.k. with it, although we were a meat and potatoes family. My dad called me up, the first and only time I ever recall entering my parent’s bedroom as a child. “What about scurvy?” he asked me. Although his mother was a nurse and his father a pharmacist, he knew nothing about nutrition. “That’s vitamin C deficiency,” I answered. He had no further questions.

    My parents didn’t do anything different. Vegetarian protein options did not appear at the dinner table. I simply just didn’t eat meat. I never missed it. And I never thought that I would eat it again.

    Sixteen years later, I was a young mother. And in-between my pregnancies, I started to crave shrimp. I listened to my body, and began to eat seafood again. What I know now is that I was probably deficient in essential fatty acids. This I learned when I began doing research on ADHD and the brain. 

    Of course it is possible to get needed essential fatty acids in a vegetarian diet, primarily through seeds and nuts. We just need to pay attention. Years of not paying attention can take their toll, and our bodies may become depleted. This is particularly true when additional nutritional demands are placed on our bodies, such as during pregnancy and breast-feeding. This is why I generally recommend for pregnant and nursing women to supplement. 

     Different diets work for different people. I am not a proponent of any particular diet. I say do what works for you and listen to your body. I do believe that the best thing we can all do for our health, and the health of our planet, is to eat organically grown foods. 

    Dr. Joe Pizzorno ND agrees with me, “increase nutrient intake and decrease toxin exposure.” If there are added hormones, pesticides, or antibiotics in your food then there will be added hormones, pesticides and antibiotics in your body. Likewise, if there are preservatives, additives and artificial dyes and sweeteners in your food...they will be in your body too. Avoid this toxic burden and eat whole and organically grown foods. 

    I am a vegetarian at heart. I love vegetarian food, but these days I include wild caught fish and free range birds in my diet. There are well-evidenced health benefits from a vegetarian diet, however, what is most important to me is that animals are raised humanely. 

    Our bodies are wise. Our bodies may be our unconscious knowing. Sometimes we hear them speaking directly to us, other times they knock harder with symptoms. Either way, our bodies will communicate to us what we need. Listen to your body. What makes it feel well and what makes it feel terrible?

Renewal

   You never know what may lay on your path, even if you have tread it 1000 times before. You may surprisingly find salamanders stationed in the darkness. Salamanders to carefully step over as you slowly make your way along a muddy trail in the middle of the night.

    Such is the lesson that I learned last July full moon. My husband and I were treated to a rare and special event. A mass migration of salamanders who arose from under the earth after the rain and under the full moon. 

   Thank God we had a flashlight. For they didn’t move as most creatures will, scampering out of the way when you approach. 

    It was crazy. It was pitch dark on the open meadow. The moon had not yet risen. We were making our way through the familiar meadow as if in a dream, as the twilight colored from blue to purple to black. 

   Suddenly I stopped. I asked Peter to turn on the flashlight. I just had a little eerie feeling, although logically I knew there was nothing to be afraid of out there. I knew this meadow. 

   However, that is when I saw them, and...I shrieked! They were like little monsters beneath our feet. Fortunately, I had just managed to step over one. How I don’t know. It must have been some sort of radar system between the sole of my foot and the salamander’s rubbery body. Maybe he was sending out some sort of signal that I was able to pick up?  My husband didn’t seem to be picking up the same signals.  It was a harrowing journey home.

    It must have been like a UFO experience for the salamanders. The bright light. The shrieks. The examination from above. 

    I put on the kettle. My teabag read “renew,” and I thought of the medicine of the salamander. Renewal, regeneration, transformation. They are amphibious, able to live in both land and water. Incredible creatures. These salamanders burrow into the earth and make a loyal pilgrimage back to their birth ponds to reproduce. They are sit and wait predators, catching bugs who naively pass by, and freaking out people who are accustomed to wildlife scampering out of their way.

   We had walked that trail for 10 years without ever seeing a single salamander. Nor having any inkling that salamanders even lived out there. What a blessing to unexpectedly encounter dozens to share the path with. And what a blessing to have my cup of chamomile tea that night.

   How awakening it is when we find newness on a well trod path. I like that we can have non-ordinary experiences right within our ordinary experience.

Living in Harmony with Winter

    I’m like a bear in a cave this time of year. Crawling in as the sun sets and merging with the quiet darkness. I am quiet, the night is quiet, the darkness holds this space for us. 

    We are all cyclical in nature, women may be more attune to this with our lunar cycles, but we are all tied to and connected with seasonal cycles. There is wisdom to be had in paying attention to this. It can be good preventative medicine. 

    It may be more to do less this time of year. To get some extra sleep, to take a little time each night to sit or lay quietly in solitude. This gives your mind, body, and spirit time to reflect, recharge, and rebirth. This can be challenging if we get caught up in all that is commercially and technologically available to us. 

    Remember what is most important. And you, actually, are what is most important. Coming from a restful place rather than an exhausted one will be more personally and relationally satisfying to you and your loved ones. 

    Winter is a time of reflection from which forth wisdom births. When we choose to turn inside and enter into this still quiet darkness we may hear the small still voice within. Imagine you are plugging yourself into the wall to recharge. And from this place, as the sun returns, and we enter into the seasonal celebrations of Light, we may feel born anew. Our batteries are now operating at 100%.

    I was honored to lead the Spiral Garden at my children’s school for some years (2001-2005). The Spiral Garden is a ceremony of light in the time of the darkness of winter. In the spiral garden, we metaphorically journey inward to the eternal light within us, and then journey outward, bringing our light out into the world.

     You are a light for this world, and we all have gifts to give. When we journey inward, we may rekindle our flame and reimagine our gifts. May you enter into your cave of regeneration and receive some deep rest. Merge with the quiet darkness that this time offers to us. When we open to the intelligence of the season, we invite balance into our lives and avoid burn-out.

    Consider this experiment. Rather than attempting to function as a linear being, embrace your cyclical nature. As Dr. Christiane Northrup MD points out, our drive, focus, and aptitude change with the moon and with the seasons. Allow yourself to align with this greater cosmos of your being. 

    Be well, be happy, be free. When we rest, we heal. When we sleep, we heal. Honoring our lunar and seasonal cycles as a part of our true nature, usually results in the alleviation or disappearance of many discomforts, symptoms, and suffering.

    The light in you is the light in me. The peace in you is the peace in me. As the light of the sun returns here to planet earth, may so the light in your tender heart. May we gather in this collective memory. Happy Holidays. 

Accepting Death in Medicine

   As a 19-year-old pre-medical student, I thought that chemotherapy was barbaric and medicine was doing more harm than good keeping people alive at all costs. Medicine did not accept death, a completely natural and normal part of our existence. I thought that if we as a culture could better accept death as a natural and normal part of the human condition, then we could practice better medicine. 

    That was some thirty years ago. This summer,  my 77-year-old mother-in-law directed me to an article in the April 2014 issue of the Sun (The Art of Dying, by Katy Butler). And this fall, my 83-year-old aunt Kathy told me about a book she was going to read, which I instantly knew I wanted to read too (Being Mortal by Atul Gawande). I am so thankful to these experts who are bringing this topic into the limelight. 

    It can be hard to die in America. Harder still to stay in command of our personal dignity as we age and the medical system intervenes. Like the zombies our teenager’s are so fixated with, some of our elders have become like the living dead.

   Albert Einstein thought that the chief objective of all technology must be concern for humankind, and that if applied science is not bringing us happiness, then we have not yet learned to make proper use of it. 

    Our elders are such treasures. And yet when you talk to them, they will often tell you that they feel like such burdens. Our elders are the wisdom of our society. We can do much better than isolating and institutionalizing them.  When we hear their life stories, the resiliency and courage of the human condition is sparked within us all. 

      Arthur Kleinman’s pioneering work in cultural competency became central to my doctorate. Finding out how we understand our illness, our chief problems, feelings, hope and fears, helps us in our healing, that is, in making our hearts more comfortable. These same questions may also help us in our dying.

    As Dr. Atul Gawande MD suggests, when we ask, “What is living a life you'd find worthwhile?”, we are practicing good medicine. What we need are honest conversations and honest choices. To find out what is most important, and consider how procedures may or may not actually be in alignment with what we actually want. 

   Einstein regarded our science, measured against reality, to be primitive and childlike, yet also considered it the most precious thing we have.  I no longer have such a radical view of chemotherapy, or of medical care at the end of life. I am grateful to my many colleagues who work to better cancer therapies, to those who care for cancer patients, and to those who administer to the dying. I am thankful that America is a free country, and that we have the freedom to choose what we want, in living and in dying. 

      My hope is that all Americans have access to healthcare professionals, such as hospice nurses, who attend home deaths, as we have midwives who attend home births. It can take a long time to come into this world, or to leave this world, or we may birth or die very quickly. My grandmother sat with dying people in their homes. She was a nurse in St. Louis during the Great Depression. My aunt describes her as patient and kind, and as a brilliant woman. When she came home from work, she would take a bath and then go play the piano, before going into the kitchen to make dinner. 

   We are all heroes on our own journeys, stars of our own lives. And as authors of our own lives, how do we want our stories to end?

   Do I want dialysis, open-heart surgery, antibiotics, feeding tubes, respirator, or any other technology assisted living at the end? No. I rather may want assisted dying if I were suffering in excruciating pain. Will I be able to accept my own death when the time comes? I can only aspire to. Knowing the beauty of home birth, I would choose to die at home with my children and loved ones at my side. With flowers and candles and song and fresh air coming in through my bedroom window. Yes, and have cake.